The LGPPP sent out our Investigative Squad to follow up on Dr. Zaius' discoveries concerning the little grenouille, Samurai Frog. What we discovered was not only amazing, but dismaying and had nothing to do with the green sock puppet at all...
Monkerstein's sister, LouLou Belle said, "He always took my toys from me when I was young and always kept the best bananas for himself - after he promised to share if we collected them while he sat under the coconut tree and oogled the local native girls. I told him 'no' once and he turned me into a toy to be sold at Wal-Mart. The horror of it all is so overwhelming that I think daily of taking my own life."
His mother, Monica said. "I'll talk if you promise not to tell my Evil Son what I say...okay, his real name is 'Doctor', it's not a title. We called him 'Doctor' after my uncle Dr. Mojo. My Evil Son (did I tell you he was Evil?) told me that if I didn't make him peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches every night for the rest of his life he would turn me into a sock monkey and...and...(sniff)...he did. For the love of all things bright and beautiful, I beg you not to let my Evil Son be voted in as leader of anything - let alone this fine country. Please, I beg you, stop his madness before it's too late."
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