Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Vacations Prove That a Life of Pleasure is Definitely...Underrated

 
Germaine here! Miss me, darlings?

I've been practicing at being presidential by going on vacation for the entire month of August. There are some standards that I am more than willing to uphold. In fact, I too spent a great deal of time clearing brush. Right, Ellen? Angry Ballerina, your German Brazilian waxer is a dream. But why does a woman who waxes for a living keep her mustache? When I am your president I am putting Frau Rippa, the beast of beeswax, in my administration. She will be in charge of interrogations.

While I've been away I see some of the other candidates are claiming they have a campaign juggernaut.

Friends, let me simply say that I am the only candidate who can make the claim

"Are These Jugs Or Not?"


Dr. Zaius is already planning much of our foreign policy around the super powers inherent in my tits. We believe Italy will suddenly become our number one ally.

7 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

I am so glad you are back, Ms. Gregarious! I can't begin to tell you the horrors that Monkerstein has wrought on the unsuspecting populace in your absence. Now that you have returned, we can begin to set things right again in this fine land!

SamuraiFrog said...

Well, Ms. Gregarious, you do make a couple of excellently round and bouncy points. It's almost a shame we can't get you to leave that vile pretender Zaius and come to the winning team...

Dr. Zaius said...

You might want to rethink your position, Mr. Frog. Perhaps it is you that should consider switching tents...

Germaine Gregarious said...

Samurai is experiencing the power of my hypnotits.

Extremely powerful....you are getting sleepy, ma petite grenouille...verrrry sleeeeeeeeppppyy. Rest your little green head right here on mama's bosom. Go on.............

Happy to be back! Dr. Zaius. We've much to do.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Yeah... I have to agree that you made a big... uh.... big...

What were we talking about?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Your fake boobs do not fool me you foul woman. You will turn on Zaius and this nation in an instant if you are elected.

Germaine Gregarious said...

You are afraid to look, Dr. Monkerstein. But one day you will. Oh. You. Will.