Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Best News EVAH!


Darlings, I thank all the pagan deities and Buddha bellies I have rubbed for bringing about the best possible news that ever could be!

Woody Allen is making a movie with Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz. Yes, this is fabulous. But what is better is that he doesn't waste the absolutely fabulous opportunity this titanic matchup presents: Lesbian Sex Scene!

Oh dears, I am just cutting and pasting the rest because really, I am far too beside myself to even continue to sit upright at this computer.

Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz will have lesbian sex in Woody Allen’s new film.

The sexy actresses will ”leave the audience gasping” with their steamy love scene in Allen’s upcoming ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona’.

A source said: ”It is extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and the whole scene will leave the audience gasping.”

I wonder if that fainting couch is still in the underpansatorium? Enrique?

7 comments:

Bubs said...

Thank God that Woody's ego subsided long enough that he's not including himself in the scene.

Germaine Gregarious said...

bubs I did leave out the teensy fact that there will also be a three-way in the movie. At first, horrified, I thought it would be Woody and they'd all be talking to each other in his accent (the way lovely Scarlett does terribly in 'Scoop').

Turns out the third man in will be Javier Bardem. They just couldn't leave the dangly bits out! Ah well, my anticipation is not in the least bit sullied.

FranIAm said...

If there has to be a third, Javier is not the worst choice.

However if I was the casting director I might have chosen you, lovely and fetching Germaine.

Now THAT would leave audiences gasping!

Dr. Zaius said...

Good show! I guess you can now officially welcome Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz in the the ranks of the LGPPP.

Randal Graves said...

See Woody, all it took for you to get us to see one of your latter period movies was a hot lesbian sex scene!

Freida Bee said...

I, as well, am swooning over the mental images that are arising in my mind, but they were already there. I just thought I'd share them since you mentioned it.

I'm surprised Woody did not choose to tortuously juxtapose this with his awkwardness, for the artistic merit. Right. I still don't trust it. He'll do something to quirkify the whole thing.

Bubs said...

I just realized, this might actually replace the Jennifer Tilly/Gena Gershon scene from Bound...

whew.